Kids say the darndest things

Here is the latest collection of some of Piper's hilarious sayings. Some completely caught me off-guard when she said them, while others made me grin because she knew she was being funny and cute. I've written a lot, for my record-keeping benefit mostly, so feel free to stop reading at any point.

Piper saw a tomato and said, “I never eat a 'mato.” (This is something Lola from "Charlie & Lola says.)

My mom took care of Piper one night for us and they watched a movie before bed. When my mom turned off the movie she thought that Piper would be defiant about going to bed. But she was so tired, she just said, “Piper’s bed” and promptly headed to bed.

My mom and Piper were playing with some coins and putting them in a bank. Piper would tell her, “one more," "too much," "not enough.” She's learning those banking skills.

I was tickling Piper one time and after a while she looked at me and said, “knock it off.”

One of Rick's favorite songs lately is "Apologize" by OneRepublic. He'll play it on our stereo or iPod and he and Piper will sing together. Then one night in LA Piper was eating dinner and we all were talking and she just busted out in full melody the chorus “too late to apologize.”

Before bed one night Piper gave me a kiss and then said, "lalu Mommy,” (read: I love you Mommy) and “best friend Mommy.” Aww.

Piper was singing a song at dinner with my parents and my brother and his wife. In the middle of the song she burped. She quickly said “mewmee” which means “excuse me” in Piper-speak and then continued on with the song.

Piper was playing with my old kitchen and tea set. I asked her what she was making. She responded with, “Whachta like?” I told her something which she fixed for me. Then handing it to me she said, “Here you go.”

Piper was eating some fruit and I asked her if it was good. She replied, “yeah, yummy in tummy.“ She got that from my dad.

If you draw with Piper and she will want to trace your hand on the paper. When going around your fingers, she'll say “Don’t move.” She catches on quick as that's what we always say when we trace her hand.

Once we pretended to brush her Elmo’s teeth and she told him, “Open your mouth.”

Piper drew a picture and my mom asked her what it was. Piper told her, "Figure it out."

In our bed one morning Piper's stomach growled. She said, "My tummy talking." I asked her what she wanted to eat. She replied, "P. Sherman." That's an interesting food craving. (For the uninitiated, P. Sherman is the name on the scuba mask of the guy that kidnapped Nemo from the reef in Finding Nemo)

Our family scripture study has been a funny affair. Piper frequently interrupts my reading with, "What you talking about?" I try to explain to her what I'm talking about but I think she just says it because she thinks she's being funny.

Also while reading scriptures I was explaining to Piper that Nephi from the Book of Mormon wrote on gold plates that he had made himself. She responded with, "Awesome!"

When having family prayer we talk about whose turn it is. One night she told us, "I think it's Mommy's turn."

The desk that our landlords left us has an old skeleton key for the top drawer. Piper likes playing with it and one time when she was trying to put a key in the lock she told me, "Impossible."

I love listening to Piper babble in the backseat sometimes. I overheard her the other day talking to her finger. She pointed to it and said, "no, finger. You have a timeout."

It seems that Piper has inherited her dad's love of "cold beverages" as Rick likes to say. She saw me getting a glass of water out of the fridge tap one day and told me, "I need a cold drink." Her dad couldn't be prouder.

When we lived in Sydney Rick would watch Pardon the Interruption on ESPN when he got home from work. He would try to explain it to Piper. He taught her that the hosts were Kornheiser and Wilbon. Months later Piper and I went to lunch at a local restaurant. She kept saying something that I couldn't understand. That is until we sat down at our table and saw that there was a TV tuned to ESPN. She was saying "WILBON!" Now the man on the TV wasn't Wilbon but he was also black with a shaved head and talking about sports just like Wilbon. Rick will have to teach her some more.

Piper likes to pretend that lions or dinosaurs are constantly trying to come get us and eat us up. She always says "Dinosaur coming" in a mock-scared whisper. Sometimes she asks you to save her or tells you that we need to hide or hurry. Tonight was no different but then I think she saw a picture of Jesus on her desk and her answer was "Jesus help save me." This saying was followed by "Dinosaur...dinosaur...dinasaur come beat me up." Hehe.

I asked Piper how she was doing. Usually the response is "I doing well." This time I could swear that she said, "I've been better."

While making guacamole together Piper put her head on my arm and said, "Mommy, you a good cooker." I'm glad someone appreciates my cooking.

We've been trying to get Piper more comfortable going pee on the toilet. We're not potty training but we've been encouraging her to go. She's gone several times, over a dozen, I'd say. If she goes we tell her "good job." Then, Piper walked in on me going to the bathroom and she told me "Good job." Such a good mother hen.